We Don't Even Have To Try It's Always A Good Time

Hello there my untouched blog.

I've neglected you ever since 2nd Semester started in January, apologies!

Life has been so time-consuming that the internet has been just touched or bothered through my lil' lovely of a BlackBerry.

Nevertheless, this is a good ice-breaker post for such a long time of not blogging.

Gym, Bubba Gump, Starbucks with Chin today! :)

Kudos to Chin for the Instagram pic!

Me and Chin at Bubba Gump for our late lunch after an 'intense' workout at the gym ;) 

I owe you petrol money ! 

Thank you for sending me home yet AGAIN :3 

You're just too nice :)

tabye

♥

Too Smitten For Words

Dear Mental,

Tonight was the night that I poured my heart out to my friend about how much I like this guy in school.

So, as I unfold more stories and moments about him, the more I realise and also my friend pointed out that, I really like him THAT MUCH.

I don't know if it's a mental obsession or I really do have feelings for him.

However, I'm pretty sure I am really into him purely based on his personality, looks & etc.

Not because I am an obsessed stalker -__-

I have never had feelings for a dude until it can make me go as insane as ever!

I tried getting over him, but all the little things that reminds me of him, or things that he say or do, it will always put a smile on smile face and just makes me happy.

Having him around, makes me feel happy. I guess, that is what I want from him if he was my boyfriend.

He will always be there to make me happy. That's pretty much what I need right now.

I know I have my best friends but, it wouldn't to hurt to have a best friend and a boyfriend as one package right?

Although, based on my current Semester 1 results, I'm not so sure if he would even be interested in me -_-

Hmm, insyaallah he'll be fine with me. I'm still hoping.

Hopefully, things between me & him will have some progress. At the rate we're going, so far everything's going smoothly. I think.

tabye

♥

Feeling The Independence

All Time Low, We Are The In Crowd & The Maine

18 DAYS

:)

♥

Feeling The Independence

FutureProof , Chloe Swaby, Dive Bella Dive & The Debut

4 DAYS

:)

♥

Semester 2 :)

Dear Mental,

Just needed to remind myself that this is the new timetable for Semester 2:

Monday:

9am-12pm = Design Explorations

Tuesday:

9am-12pm = Architectural Planning & Design Studio

Wednesday:

1pm-4pm = Introduction Into Technology & Design

Thursday:

5pm-8pm = Transferable Skills For The Built Environment

done!

tabye

♥

Young Hearts Being Torn

He's been on my mind.

He is the reason why I might be suffering from a first degree or maybe second degree insanity.

It's like this emotional instability is controlling my whole sense of right and wrong.

It's as if I don't know what choices I should make on the subject of love.

I don't blame him.

I blame myself.

Why do I have such a weak heart.

The heart of a naive girl who might be stinking of desperation just because she's never had that special guy in her 18 years of living.

They said youth is the time to discover, but I don't seem to be discovering anything.

Like in Greek, "I left black & white back in high school , but from here on out, it's all shades of grey."

Nothing is the same, the systems are different. Even rules are literally disobeyed. Things now happen for a reason and not because they HAVE to happen.

It's happening to me now, I am sadly just stuck at a road block or dead end.

Waiting for someone to pick me up and show me the right way to end this endless emotional war of mine.

Maybe I need to think more about it.

tabye

♥

My Morning Heart Beats

Dear Mental,

It's a lovely Sunday morning. *cue Maroon 5* :)

Sunny 3degrees in Chelmsford today.

I was thinking that maybe I should start off the morning by blogging so that I will continue on with something more productive throughout the day.

Insyaallah things will go according to plan.

Nothing much going on today. Haha, just maybe might pop into the gym. I need to do one session without Simon.

Currently listening to One Direction. Haha, Sadly I am a sucker for pop songs, so sue me eh?

Honestly, The Wanted are more awesome! SORRY :)

Okay, moving on, sidetracking, so Friday is the weigh in ! Worried like shizz now, oh god. Hopefully I lost some weight, :(

On lighter note, yet still nerve-wracking, uni is starting in 8 DAYS, I am a tad bit worried about results.

Insyaallah I did well. I mean, I tried and did my best already, so hopefully my results will be just fine :B

Another thing to be kinda happy about is that I will be going to London next weekend before Sem 2 kicks off!

That's for meeting the family, friends, visit the Royal Academy & watching FutureProof w/ Dive Bella Dive, The Debut & Chloe Swaby live in Camden Barfly.

It was the same venue where I met Forever Is Over , JMA, WSP and Find Me Next Fall :)

Excited, can't wait to take a pic with the FP boys :') ♥

Okay, then, I guess that's enough of my morning blog fix, shall go fix myself some brekkie before I starve myself -_- HAHA.

tabye

♥

8 Years and Counting...

Dear Mental,

I had the best skype session with my long-time best friend,

Mahirah Farhana on Sunday.

It was 12am Monday night for her and 4pm Sunday evening for me.

Petaling Jaya - Chelmsford.

She's on holiday, I'm on holiday :)

What a nice time to skype with someone you love.

4 hours makes 8 years look so easy :')

♥

best friends forever & ever, till we die together.

Oh the memories of Freshmen year in SA.

tabye

♥

Happy Birthday To...?

Alexandra Jane Handoko,

a.k.a AJ

Happy 19th friend :) Sorry I was unable to attend your dinner party in Manchester. :( I am so sorry again for the last minute cancellation.

Nevertheless, I hope you had fun with the others!

It's great that we're still friends even though we're in different unis. Hopefully, I'll see you in Manchester sometime soon!

I hope you'll like this double insulated mug for your daily dose of coffee/tea ;) Or maybe even hot chocolate!

I will be posting it to Manchester ASAP! :)

Hopefully we'll keep in touch and stay friends throughout uni and so on :)

Picture kudos to AJ's camera!

Taken during Bellerbys Graduation 2011 !

tabye

♥

Endings and Beginnings

Dear Mental,

Happy 2012! I know I've been absent for the last 2 months of 2011. This was due to my very hectic Semester One timetable and Christmas break.

Apologies! Hopefully this year will be more consistent okay? :)

Basically, this is just my short but sweet KUDOS/THANK YOU post to those who made 2011 an amazing and unforgettable year for me :)

1) Family: Mum, dad, sis, cousins, aunties, uncles and etc; Thank you for being there in supporting me when I had to leave for college and uni. It meant the world to me. Your endless support and love is unimaginable!

2) Best friends,friends: You guys know who you are :) Thanks a bunch for keeping in touch with me even though you guys saw me coming home for only twice a year last year! I owe a lot time to spend with each and every one of you ! Forever keep in touch okay?

3) College mates: My Bellerbys people :) Haha, from college mates, we all became friends, right from the first day of college! Thanks for the unforgettable 8 months, I'll forever cherish those moments we had. Hope everyone's doing well in their respective unis now. Stay friends!

4) College teachers: Thanks for the support and advice :) Because of you, I learnt a lot in college!

5) Uni classmates: Hello my 3 months and counting buddies, :) Hopefully the next 2 years and a half will make us closer ! You guys are awesome already ;) Stay the same!

6) Uni lecturers: Thank you for the advice and guidance for last semester! I will be seeing most of you next sem again :) Excited! Although, still worried about my results :S Insyaallah I did fine.

Happy New Year and may 2012 will be better :)

tabye

♥

I Am That Kinda Girl, Just So You Know

Dear Mental,

These past few days have been really exhausting for me.

Some things might be falling into place like it should be.

However, there are just some things that I want to progress faster and sooner.

I just wanna have that feeling you know?

That important feeling.

I know, I know, I am way in over my head.

I keep on reminding myself that, life is not a movie that you can just make stuff up and expect every single damn thing to go your own way.

I mean, if life was like that, there won't be any challenges wouldn't it?

See what I mean? I just contradicted myself.

At one point I am some over melodramatic angst-y teenager who just wishes that life was much easier and that everything would just fall into my lap whenever I wished for it to come true.

However, at some other random point, I am this mature 18 year old uni student who feels that everything is only the beginning and that there's more to life than just shitty dramas and last minute homework.

Giving myself a push of confidence is hard enough, but to go for an unexpected emotional plunge is just another crazy thing.

SIGHS. I feel like Sheldon Cooper. It is hell in my head at times.

I've discovered my passion, I know the do's and don'ts of being a student, so what else do I need?

I might be suffering from some emotionally chronic mental disturbance -_-

Apologies for the deep and brutally honest writings of my life for now.

I guess I just need to figure out why I feel so uneasy now.

tabye

♥

Making Time For Everything

Dear Mental,

I was at the library today for 3hrs straight? Nah, last Saturday was worse. It was 5hrs. So yeah. I think some of you might have read my previous post on how I have been hibernating in the uni library for the past couple of days.

Uh huh. It's true! Ain't that just a shock to your systems? HAHA.

Sense the sarcasm there?

Pretty much. I've been pretty crabby too. Monthly needs. As per usual, a girl's gotta be a bit mean you know.

Speaking of mean, at last my constant spamming of emails to my lecturer has got me my reward/fine ! HAHA

Irony's a bitch - Rusty Cartwright :)

Thanks Jacob Zachar :) You played Rusty perfectly! I miss Greek.

Okay! Sidetracking much and damn distracted! I am suppose to be reading my history reading on High Renaissance for tomorrow's presentation! -_____-

My life is so full of words and images.

LOL, wait everybody's life is like that! HAHAHA.

Ignore me. :) Sleepy time. Need to read History and get ready for tomorrow's long day!

p/s: Thank you David B for sharing your M&M's with me in the library :) It woke me up!

tabye

♥

A Little Too Early For Hibernation Isn't It?

Dear Mental,

Have you ever felt like you just wanna go away somewhere very far away and just not listen to anyone for a bit? I guess I have been feeling a little irritated by everyone lately! GOSH How mean of me huh? :( I just feel like I really need some alone time from everyone. All the stress of uni is finally getting into my head! My sister told me that my mum cried when I told her about how stress I was with the course :/ That just made me feel worse! :( I am so sorry everyone. I am sorry friends. I know I have been cutting contact with you guys. I basically have been hibernating in the library. I actually spent 5hrs straight in the library today! WOW. That's a new record for me. The most was 2-3hrs. But today was, wow. Even Lewis told me to chillax and go eat ! Oh well, need to get ready for bed and I need to clean up my messed up room before Kak Didi and her aunty comes tomorrow!

So, goodnight bloggers.

Keep in touch.

tabye

♥

Why Not Just Grant Me A Wish?

Hey you.

You kinda just make me feel like I wanna strangle you or maybe just myself for that matter.

I know you mean well, but sometimes I feel like all those efforts are just a waste of your time.

Surprisingly, you still bother about me even life is going pretty well according to plan for you.

Oh gosh, I just wish there was a sign that said, 'YOU DON'T NEED ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!'

Sometimes I just wonder, maybe my mum is right about this thing about me.

Maybe I am naive enough to even bother about you.

Nevertheless, I am the one who tries to learn to not judge people ever since high school.

Somehow, I had to learn it the hard way.

I hope, maybe you can stop all these charades and just come clean with whatever you're keeping from me.

Apologies if I am too young to understand whatever that you're trying to go through, but you yourself said that you trusted me.

I hope it's still there.

If not, I'm sorry for you.

Goodbye, may the next encounter will be a successful one.

tabye

♥

300th Post & Counting..

Dear Mental,

I am so sorry for not being able to update lately! However uni life has gotten way better ever since orientation started! Especially last week :)

Let's start with Sunday, 9 October 2011:

Nothing much happened! HAHA :) But yeah, basically I just slept in, been a bit under the weather because I fell sick the week before and also the fact that my parents went back to Malaysia.

Monday, 10 October 2011:

Well, I had tutorial in the afternoon, so pretty much it was a free day :D WHEE! Although, I had a meeting with Joshua and Nikhil for the group presentation for the ILSC class !

Tuesday, 11 October 2011:

Pin-up day for the Cathedral sketches! NERVE-WRACKING as per usual! HAHA. But yeah, during class we had to 'dissect' a bell pepper ! TEEHEE. ;) SO FUN! Somehow, Kyle has a very weird obsession with the bell pepper smell :P HAHAHA. Sitting with the boys were so fun! OHH and Billy was lucky enough to get his sketch chosen to be shown to everyone in class! (Y) Go Billy :D During lunch we ate at the benches outside Marconi and, me, Nadir & Kyle talked about Pixar animations! HAHA, especially How To Train Your Dragon & Wall-E! In the afternoon, me, Nadir, David and Bradley had our discussion about our presentation at the library! It was fun too! :) Talked about leftover spaghetti, holidays, A Levels, countries, names, French terms, baguettes, berets, croissants, foreign languages and chewing gum. NICE.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011:

WEDNESDAY! Presentation day! Freaking out like shizz. YEAH. So basically we did pretty well surprisingly! Well, the boys did awesome-ly! I almost PASSED OUT, like literally! :O OMG. HAHAHA. But Kyle and Joshua said I was fine! HAHA, thanks guys :') David took ages for his section though, HEHE. But he's AWESOME like that, go David :3 Bradley at last pass pronouncing his French terms ^_^ HEHE, so no baguettes to be thrown at that boy for awhile :P Nadir did his intro smoothly! WOOHOO. Not only that, because of me, CONCRETE has been a subject that made all of us CRAZY! -______- AHAHAHHAHA especially me! History took a whole interesting turn when me, Kyle, David, Bradley, Nadir, Ross, Shaun & Billy talked about Roman robes, concrete, cement, socks being worn with slippers/sandals and childhood memories. HAHA, we had tons of fun. Well, before lunch, me and David had our 'commotion' at the Resource Cafe! HAHA, because David didn't want to take the chicken wrap that he likes because I took it first .___. I FELT SO BAD! I literally FORCE him to take it! HAHAHA, but in the end he did! SO YAY, :) However he said that I am STUBBORN because I didn't want to take the wrap -_____- MEH, you'll pay David Morgan! BAHAHAHA. Oh not only that, my Viennese Whirls came only as one biscuit in the packet which should have 2 of them ! Zzzz. What a rip off! So I only paid it for 25p :P HEHE. YAY. Saved money! Tech & Design, was of course, on concrete -_____- HEHE. It was a densed lecture, too much CONCRETE! HAHAHA, so Billy fell asleep ! Then during tutorial, more concrete, HAHA. Everything was just a blur to me.

Thursday, 13 October 2011:

WOKE UP LATE. GAH. But had Archifunk meeting! Met up with Sam, the ex-pres and we talked about the committee members, so Dean is our new pres, Kyle is the treasurer and I am the secretary! HAHA, :D Awesome! So yeah. Pretty much I am quite excited to promote Archifunk, although people don't seem to be too keen on it -______- SIGHS. Kyle posted a picture of Betzy the concrete on my Wall! OMG, HAHAHAHHA. But she's kinda cute, surprisingly :P HEHE. Yeah.. She has hairy legs though -.- AWKWARD. HAHAHA. Transferable Skills was mind-numbing ! I couldn't wrap my head around the 7th sheet! GAH. Although I did get some help from David, he showed every step, but then I had to restart from scratch by myself all over again because he undo everything! HAHAHA, omg, the torture -___- HE SO MEAN. But he said he's nice, MEH. Okay la, nice :P HEHE. I HAVE A FEELING I AM THE LAST IN MY CLASS. GOSH I THINK I JUST DIED. -.- BOO! I HATE THIS.

Friday, 14 October 2011:

Well, nothing much happened today, just did laundry! AT LAST! I sadly have to redo my report -_______- URGH. DAMN ANNOYING. So yeah, I let Kat read my Reflective Journal and she liked it, so that was cool! :D (Y) SO FUN! AHAH. Pretty much, that's it :B

Saturday, 15 October 2011:

Woke up damn early at 7.30am to go to Central London to meet up with Cat and Jeff :) So, it was literally an adventure for me! The East Anglia National Express services were having some engineering problems! -.- WHOOPEE. So I had to take a train to Ingatestone and take a coach from there to Newbury Park! WALAO. Then I had to take the Central Line using the Tube to Stratford, from there, I took the Jubilee line to go to Canada Water, then I went to the Overground to go to Forest Hill to meet Kak Lin so that I can pick up Kak Nia's Amazon package. HAHA. Had a nice time at Kak Lin's! Although, I was 30mins late for lunch with Jeff and Cat because of all the damn congestions and the amounts of stops the bus had to go through before arriving in Leicester Square a.k.a Chinatown. It's funny how I got lost finding the Oriental Delight shop, but I didn't get lost from Chelmsford to London! HAHAHAHA. WOW. We ended up eating at this yummy Korean shop! YUM :3 I promised Nav that I'll meet Nav soon :) I FEEL SO BAD NOW! HAHA. Should pop on by to Surrey real soon! Before Winter comes :) After Chinatown, we went our separate ways :'( SIGHS. But I got the opportunity to see Jeff's accommodation in Russell Square :D DAMN BIG MAN his room -.- I SO ENVY HIM! HAHA. Met his friends too! WOOT. HEHE. Then, we went to Regent's Park, knowing how blur I was, I didn't know that it was a royal park -___- PFFT. So, it didn't occur to me that the Frieze Art Fair was a fancy schmancy event and it cost 20-27pounds -________- GOSH. I'll pass. But I took some pics, a bit bland though :( SIGHS. But the park was damn huge and pretty too! HAHA, me and Jeff faced an awkward moment when we opened my sister's Amazon package to find out that it contained a BABY MONITOR .__________. WHAT THE CRAP? AHAHHA. I knew it was for her friend, but I kinda forgot about it at first, hence the awkwardness since I opened it in a public park with my guy best friend -.- HAHAHA.

SO, that was my 4th week in uni summed up in one whole post in conjunction of my 300th post! WOOT, no worries, there will be more to come :D

P/s: I will be using this post for my reflective journal as well :D CAN'T WAIT!

tabye

♥

Super Chin Day :)

Dear Mental,

Yesterday was Tuesday, 6th of September 2011!

It was Super Chin Day :) HAHA. It was for me 'to celebrate and spend time with Chin Xing Tan' after not seeing him for 3 MONTHS since he left London for his Summer break after his AS Levels exams.

Pretty much, it was such an awesome lunch and dessert with Chin :) I missed him a lot so, go figure? HAHA.

We hang out in OU ! So, Chin brought me to this really yummy eating place called the Food Republic! It is new and he recommended me to have the Pepper Lunch ;) HAHA.

Of course, I went for it and the results, the food was DAMN YUMMY! While having lunch we were talking about sitcoms :) How different British sitcoms are compared to American sitcoms!

Then he started about The Office, which was so funny like shizz, then we went all BAZINGA like Sheldon, talked about how depressing Skins make people go even I find it damn awesome :P and all sorts of stuff.

After lunch, Chin took me to Uptown for dessert! Wahoo. :) He told me about Chatime and we went to buy drinks there. He had a Roasted Milk Tea and I had a Strawberry Milkshake and it was heaven :')

Delicious man! HAHA. Nice la Chin! AHAH. Well, he then had to send me home to my Ara house so we talked some more in the car. He is an excellent driver :) I gave him a thumbs up after 5 seconds of his driving! AHHAHAHA. I screamed anyhow. Because I was paranoid ;p As per usual LOL. HAHA. So yeah :)

I gave him a tour of my Ara house and talked about gay cats and kittens. LOL. The subjects we talk about man. At the end of the day, I got a hug from Chin that he owed me since 3 months ago! :') YAY. (Y) But it wasn't for 5 minutes, it was just a short nice one! HAHA. :)

Thanks again Chin for an awesome Super Chin Day :)

See you in London soon!

p/s: Congrats on getting straight A's for your AS Levels exams! :D

tabye

♥

I Give You The Truth and Nothing But The Truth

Dear Mental,

Hi there.

Have you ever felt that you never EVER wanna make the same mistakes again?

Yeah. That is what I am feeling now.

Every time this weird feeling comes out, I just get too freaked out that I'll regret making a choice about it.

I mean, being honest about what you feel is never easy, especially when you feel something for someone.

How do you know if that feeling is real or just an emotional illusion? You know, like an optical illusion perhaps?

Because you think you can see it, but if you blink twice, it's just gone like that. Gone with the wind for that matter.

So maybe I'm just a coward because when it comes to revealing my feelings for someone, it ain't exactly the best thing to do when that someone doesn't feel the same way.

Nevertheless, I am going to just to wait because only time will tell if this feeling is true.

I will be leaving for London next Monday. So let's just see if I can get over this before I leave.

If I don't then, that's a sign. Hopefully, it'll be a good one.

I can never deny the way I feel about you.

Because it's my weakness to deny you, but it's my strength if I admit it because it will show how brave I am for taking a chance on something that might just be an epic disappointment.

So, I hope, with all this bare in mind, I just hope, a sign will come soon.

I just need to know, just need to know, if you're worth waiting for you know?

tabye

♥

I will forever remember the things that you did because all those things are the elements that opened my heart to you in the first place.

How Is It A Surprise?

Dear Mental,

Seriously, I think I am glad that I didn't decide to delete my blog this time because there's so muich to talk about.

Well, yesterday was the last of my exams. Feel so relief, emotionally drained & physically drained.

I didn't fast yesterday, I wasn't feeling well for the last couple of days so I took a rest yesterday, but not exactly a proper one.

I woke up late for my last presentation -___-

FML. LIKE SERIOUSLY SERIOUS *as quoted by Catherine Tan*

HAHA, well enough about my topsy turvy day, it was also Nav & Rushi's departure back home.

It was damn overwhelmed :'( I felt so sad! I cried, like literally. So yeah, it was emotional. I really am missing Nav & Rushi already.

Can't believe we all stick to each other since the first day of college until now.

Literally, 7 months spent very well. :'D

We are all growing up & getting ourselves ready, for the other stage of REAL life, *UNI LIFE*

HAHA, first stage, COLLEGE, next, UNI. :')

Well, after saying our goodbyes, dividing chocolates & hugs&kisses, me & Jeff went to the neighbourhoo behind Bellerbys to go throw our Jawbreakers into the River Thames which we were suppose to do with Nav & Rushi before they left.

Nevertheless, me and Jeff threw the jawbreakers for Nav & Rushi. We made a wish for them too. After that, we threw ours! :)

So, yeah. That was pretty much it & sadly due to the riots, I have to postpone my trip to Chelmsford with Josh :( It's ok, I can go next week! Can't wait to bond with Joshua! YAY.

tabye

♥

I Just Hate Myself More Than Usual

Dear Mental,

Today, I had an epiphany.

I seriously need to stop pulling my hair.

It's not only my size that is concerning me now, but my HAIR is also a MAJOR ISSUE NOW.

God help me & I know you will, please, just give me some SMACK IN THE FACE or something so that I WOULD STOP PULLING MY HAIR.

GODDAMNIT.

I just wanna punch something now.

Thank god for Action Item.
Currently obsessed with them.
So, got some distraction.

tabye

♥

1st of August, First Day of Ramadhan :D

Dear Mental,
It is my first day of Ramadhan in London. ALONE. WOW. I seriously feel a tad bit weird not having my sahur and breaking fast with my family.
SIGHS. The life of a college student.
MEH.
But nevertheless, I have some of my college mates to hang on to, throughout my fasting month here :)
Yesterday, me and Fesa went to Queensway to buy halal sausages and food stuff so that we have stock of food during Ramadhan :D
It was fun because I get to bond with my sonny. HAHA ;)
I also brought him to Covent Garden just to look around for some souvenirs that might interest him so that he can bring some home for his friends and family!
We also met Jeff and his cousin before heading off to Central :D
HEE.
Then, we test drived boiling the sausages in our kettles ! HAHA, my so-called bright idea -.- HAHA. Somehow, it DID work! So YAY, HAHA, but then again, both our kettles ended up smelling like sausages -____-
HAHAHAHAH
Okay. So basically, that's pretty much it. Nothing else to report so far.
:) I'll update soon! Need to go buy food for buka puasa :D TATA.

tabye

♥