You Can Never Take Back Those Words You Said To Me

You gave me hope.
You were someone who I thought might be different.
Well you are, you were.
I never noticed you.
But I insisted that there must something that I can do to make you be someone in my life.
You became my friend.
We talked, we hang out, we laughed.
We understood each other.
You understood me, and vice versa.
For the first time, things like this happens both ways to me.
I thought, "Maybe, I'll give it a go? I mean, no harm trying right?"
Unfortunately, we went through some rough patches which suddenly existed out of the blue.
I didn't know how it happen.
It just did.
I almost thought of giving my heart to you. But, no.
I backed out at the last minute.
I saw signs of insecurities, doubts, uncertainties, fear, rejection & etc.
I knew I never want to get involved with that.
I went through enough 2 years ago.
That was the last straw.
I know people say, you can never avoid getting hurt when you're in love.
But to feel the pain, once, even when you're not in the relationship, it sucks worse that being in one.
You get it?
We haven't talked for more than a month now.
Can I just say that, your actions are immature.
I'm sorry to say, but when everyone was announced that I'm leaving at the end of year, I couldn't help but to feel proud that I made you feel bad.
At the corner of my eye, I saw your expression.
I felt like you deserved every bit of that 'REJECTION' in your face.
You left me hanging like a rag doll.
I am like an unfinished book.
I am just a person that you manipulated.
I know you don't mean it.
But, how is it that I am THE ONLY ONE THAT YOU DON'T TALK TO?
You talk to my friends. EXCEPT ME.
Isn't it awkward huh?
I am used to this okay?
My mum told me, guys are like that.
They can never face the ugly damn truth.
You said you would miss me when I leave.
I just wonder now, will you feel the same way now?
You say that you're not talking to me because you're stressing out over EXAMS.
EXCUSE ME. Are you the ONLY ONE taking this STINKING SPM?
FTW.
FML.
Damn YOU. Damn you and your sweet words, damn you with your stupid ignorant ways of making me think we could be friends.
Damn you.
You are what I regret.
I don't know what to say anymore.
Why do I have to be the victim?
I shouldn't feel victimised, I know.
But, this is someone who had a special place in my heart who did this to me.
You gave up on me, for what? NOTHING.
I can ignore you, and I will.
If that's how you wanna play the game, so let's be it.
May you be happy with what you planned.
Because I am.

tabye

♥