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At the age where I'm starting to appreciate life more than I ever did compared to when I was back in high school. So, I'd say, give life a chance, and it might just surprise you in all sorts of ways :D

Everybody's Got Me Looking In The Wrong Direction

1st : Saras' 19th :)
3rd: Sean San's 19th :)
7th : Vivonne's 19th :)
8th: AJ's 19th :)
22nd: FutureProof at Camden Barfly, London :)
23rd: Semester 2 Opens!
27th : Afiq's 19th :)

4th: All Time Low, We Are The In Crowd & The Maine w/ Nav at The Forum (Hmv Forum), London.
17th: Ezra's 9th :)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

3 Years and It's Going Further, I Hope.

Dear Mental,
It took me exactly 4 DAYS to find a PROPER way to tell him that I'll be leaving on his birthday.
And at last YESTERDAY was it!
HAHA, I told him I wanted to tell him something.
I'm glad he was patient enough to wait for it.
LMAO. You know boys, they just want you to blurt it out.
While walking with him and Amirah I told him.
Yes, I told him that I'm leaving in January instead of December.
He looked at me and said, "January? Which is on my birthday."
I couldn't help to apologise.
I told him to celebrate at the airport with me and Amirah :)
HAHA. And he said, "Let's celebrate on the way to the airport okay?"

Nice, :)
I owe you San Vei Sean.
3 years of friendship is good enough.
But, I still owe you an awesome 18th birthday present before leaving you.
Can't wait.
I shall punch you before I go :')
you're awesome and you know it!

It Ain't That Bad

Hey Mental! It was a good day yesterday :)
:') At last I met Ashiqin after THREE SHIQIN-LESS weeks :p bluek.
I miss that girl like MAD.
HAHA. and I miss TASH too :)
Why la you had to go to Sabah again?
oh yeah, SPM.
Speaking of the 'TOPIC' above, I shouldn't even be anywhere near the laptop! -.-
But, mama gave in because I wanted to email Mr. Leo about my uncertainties about my UNFINISHED PORTFOLIO -.-
So yeah, life is okay now.
MINUS SUCKY TRIAL results. fry that for all I care.
HAHA. Well, mantap is going on.
Will end next week? I think so.
I DUNNO, haha.
PLUS! Graduation robes are here!!! YAY (Y)
Going to wear a brown baju kurung for graduation :) and my butterfly necklace!
Mama and bapak are coming :)
So yeah, I guess that's it really!
Will update more soon :)


Sunday, October 24, 2010

It Was A Nightmare

Dear Mental,
I had a dream about him :)
But sadly, a BAD one :(
I dreamt that we had fight because I told him I'm going to London on his birthday.
He was furious. He was screaming. -.-
That's not normal of him, I know him too well..
Well, maybe not that well.
I know dreams are stupid.
But I haven't told him yet.
So, I thinking when should I tell him.
I want to see his reaction.
I know that he wouldn't be emotional, but I just want to see his reaction when I say,
"Hey, guess what? I'm not going on 30th December, I'm going on 3rd of January, your birthday"
Please. I hope you'll be there before I go. :/


Thursday, October 21, 2010

You Can Never Take Back Those Words You Said To Me

You gave me hope.
You were someone who I thought might be different.
Well you are, you were.
I never noticed you.
But I insisted that there must something that I can do to make you be someone in my life.
You became my friend.
We talked, we hang out, we laughed.
We understood each other.
You understood me, and vice versa.
For the first time, things like this happens both ways to me.
I thought, "Maybe, I'll give it a go? I mean, no harm trying right?"
Unfortunately, we went through some rough patches which suddenly existed out of the blue.
I didn't know how it happen.
It just did.
I almost thought of giving my heart to you. But, no.
I backed out at the last minute.
I saw signs of insecurities, doubts, uncertainties, fear, rejection & etc.
I knew I never want to get involved with that.
I went through enough 2 years ago.
That was the last straw.
I know people say, you can never avoid getting hurt when you're in love.
But to feel the pain, once, even when you're not in the relationship, it sucks worse that being in one.
You get it?
We haven't talked for more than a month now.
Can I just say that, your actions are immature.
I'm sorry to say, but when everyone was announced that I'm leaving at the end of year, I couldn't help but to feel proud that I made you feel bad.
At the corner of my eye, I saw your expression.
I felt like you deserved every bit of that 'REJECTION' in your face.
You left me hanging like a rag doll.
I am like an unfinished book.
I am just a person that you manipulated.
I know you don't mean it.
But, how is it that I am THE ONLY ONE THAT YOU DON'T TALK TO?
You talk to my friends. EXCEPT ME.
Isn't it awkward huh?
I am used to this okay?
My mum told me, guys are like that.
They can never face the ugly damn truth.
You said you would miss me when I leave.
I just wonder now, will you feel the same way now?
You say that you're not talking to me because you're stressing out over EXAMS.
EXCUSE ME. Are you the ONLY ONE taking this STINKING SPM?

Damn YOU. Damn you and your sweet words, damn you with your stupid ignorant ways of making me think we could be friends.
Damn you.
You are what I regret.
I don't know what to say anymore.
Why do I have to be the victim?
I shouldn't feel victimised, I know.
But, this is someone who had a special place in my heart who did this to me.
You gave up on me, for what? NOTHING.
I can ignore you, and I will.
If that's how you wanna play the game, so let's be it.
May you be happy with what you planned.
Because I am.


Why la Nirmala, why? :D

Dear Mental, guess what?
Miss Nirmala told the WHOLE TUITION CENTRE that I'm going off to London -_-!
Why la Nirmala, WHY? HAHA Seriously?
I dunno where to hide my face now.. HAHA
Well, at least Sean and the dousche knows already.
Speaking of Sean, I told him that I was SUPPOSE to go on HIS birthday, but changed of plans because I'm going EARLIER instead T.T
I seriously hope Sean's going to be there when I'm going to London. He's one of the people that I want to say goodbye to before I go off.
I know we're just friends, but we've been friends since form 3 and Mental, you know I always get EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED to people easily.
So, not seeing him there, might just make me feel a tad bit sad.
SIGHS, so yeah. I haven't told Alyp Lee and Tash that I'm going early :'(
Okay, mama just came in -.-
Why can't you KNOCK?
-_- I know I'm wearing GINORMOUS HEADPHONES, but I still can hear if you DON'T KNOCK.
Shall stop here, DON'T BE EMO BAIZURA!
so I guess that's all for now.


I Hope They'll Stay

Dear Mental,
Yesterday was a SPECIAL DAY for TWO SPECIAL PEOPLE! ;)
Yes, Gon + Yeow = LOVE :D
Happy Belated 6 MONTH Anniversary Amirah & Yeow :)
I hope you'll stay this way forever
And I DO mean it :D

My Time Is Now

Dear Mental,
I got accepted to Bellerbys College in London! (; YAY. (Y)
YAY is not only the word, but BOO HOO too :B I'm leaving Malaysia and my LOVELYS :(
That's okay, life's full of challenges :D I can do this!
HAHA. So I am leaving in the 30th of December 2010... In the morning -.-
I can't believe my PLANS of spending NEW YEARS here are RUINED. GEEZ.
DAMN, but I hope my LOVELYS will be there for my departure :O
I really wanna see them before I leave for London.
Apparently according to mama, I won't even be able to come back to take my SPM results :'(
My holidays are limited. SIGHS.
Speaking of LIMITED hols, SPM's around the corner, which reminds me, GRADUATION'S around the corner too.
Haven't picked which baju kurung to wear.
Er, it's Friday already -_- okay, Well enough chit chat. Sadly, I have to continue tomorrow!
So, okay then.
Will update MORE SOON :)

p/s: I changed my font :)

Sunday, October 17, 2010


Dear Mental,
Life's never been more confusing than anything!
Life is just topsy turvy just like the mess in your own room.
So, I've got great news to tell!!!
But, of course, I shall tell later.
Because now, readers, click on the link below.
amuse yourselves with various stories about people's BAD DATES :')
It's cute and funny!

I've seen bettter days, and those are when I think about how lucky I am to have a good life :)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Hot Damn, That Boy's So Fine

Hey, babe :)
Oh yeah.
I love him so much I can die of heartache! (;
Danny Jones you are to die for!
Like fo shizz. :0

That's a LONG SHOT to me :O
Courtesy of Dannymcfly's TWITTER :)
Damn boy.

Shine a light on him eh eh :) HAAHA. Trying out the Taio Cruz ROCKSTARR glasses. p;
HAHA, I shall say this once;
Rockstarr Jones :D
Courtesy of Dannymcfly's TWITTER too :)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

You Must've Wrote The Book

Hello Mental :)
It's been a WEEK I think? Since I've abandoned you? LMAO.
Don't be sad! I'm back!
Well just for awhile! TRIALS are OVER!
But SPM's around the corner too D:
My future is HERE AND NOW.
Allah, I can't mess this up!
HAHA. Well, just a lil' update, skipped school yesterday!
WOOT. Stayed at home and chilled. Chem paper got me!
Ah, and skipped Nirmala too -_-
DAMN. Hahah. But no worries, I'm going for Q&A TODAY :)
YAY me :) LMAO. So going to see Kausar, Saras and Audrey! Can't wait.
Haven't seen Myra in a while.. :0 but we tweet each other :)
Can't wait for our St. Trinians Night together after SPM! :')
Em, yeah, next, Sash is 'designing' my PROM DRESS :')
So I GUESS I am going to prom. But, not sure who else is going :O
Asked Kausar, Dalila and Audrey :) They said no PROBLEM!
Awesome. So far that's it really. Okay, then. Guess that's all.
Update later!


Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sunday Family Day

Dear Mental :)
Today, studied a bit and then spent the whole day at Putra Stadium, Bukit Jalil today! :)
We watched the ATP World Tour Malaysian Open :) WEE.
Although none of the players that I adore were there but it's okay!
Had TONS of FUN!
HEE, so yeah. watched the Men Doubles Final & Men Singles Final!
And because of THAT Megat Adlan said I'm a stinking rich girl :p
HAHA. Douschebag ;)
I miss you Megat Adlan Sufri :)
LMAO. Yeah.
Weekend was a drag, minus TODAY.
HAHA. wait, MINUS a BIT of yesterday :)
Met with Sheira, Zaini, Kak Keena at Kak Zaza's OPEN HOUSE ;)
Oh yeah, BONDED with my 12 year old nephew, Iqbal :)
Such a sweetheart!
well yeah, basically that's it really ;)
okay then, going to watch HALFWAY of the Commonwealth in Delhi 2010 opening!

Friday, October 1, 2010

How Could This Happen To Me?

He's getting engaged ); SIGH. To his long time boyfriend.. UM. I forgot his NAME -_-' SORRY!
okay then.
That's it really.
Such a waste of 5 minutes ;) HAHA.
McFly's SuperCity needs ADOBE Flash Player -_______-" WHY LA LIKE THIS >_> LAZY
TRIALS; 2 WEEKS done. ONE MORE to go and 8 MORE PAPERS TO GO -.-
Okay then TTFN :)
I finally figured out, exactly who I wanna be :)
-First Grade Heroes by Stephen Schriner-