He is the reason why I might be suffering from a first degree or maybe second degree insanity.
It's like this emotional instability is controlling my whole sense of right and wrong.
It's as if I don't know what choices I should make on the subject of love.
I don't blame him.
I blame myself.
Why do I have such a weak heart.
The heart of a naive girl who might be stinking of desperation just because she's never had that special guy in her 18 years of living.
They said youth is the time to discover, but I don't seem to be discovering anything.
Like in Greek, "I left black & white back in high school , but from here on out, it's all shades of grey."
Nothing is the same, the systems are different. Even rules are literally disobeyed. Things now happen for a reason and not because they HAVE to happen.
It's happening to me now, I am sadly just stuck at a road block or dead end.
Waiting for someone to pick me up and show me the right way to end this endless emotional war of mine.
Maybe I need to think more about it.