I Am That Kinda Girl, Just So You Know

Dear Mental,

These past few days have been really exhausting for me.

Some things might be falling into place like it should be.

However, there are just some things that I want to progress faster and sooner.

I just wanna have that feeling you know?

That important feeling.

I know, I know, I am way in over my head.

I keep on reminding myself that, life is not a movie that you can just make stuff up and expect every single damn thing to go your own way.

I mean, if life was like that, there won't be any challenges wouldn't it?

See what I mean? I just contradicted myself.

At one point I am some over melodramatic angst-y teenager who just wishes that life was much easier and that everything would just fall into my lap whenever I wished for it to come true.

However, at some other random point, I am this mature 18 year old uni student who feels that everything is only the beginning and that there's more to life than just shitty dramas and last minute homework.

Giving myself a push of confidence is hard enough, but to go for an unexpected emotional plunge is just another crazy thing.

SIGHS. I feel like Sheldon Cooper. It is hell in my head at times.

I've discovered my passion, I know the do's and don'ts of being a student, so what else do I need?

I might be suffering from some emotionally chronic mental disturbance -_-

Apologies for the deep and brutally honest writings of my life for now.

I guess I just need to figure out why I feel so uneasy now.

tabye

♥

Making Time For Everything

Dear Mental,

I was at the library today for 3hrs straight? Nah, last Saturday was worse. It was 5hrs. So yeah. I think some of you might have read my previous post on how I have been hibernating in the uni library for the past couple of days.

Uh huh. It's true! Ain't that just a shock to your systems? HAHA.

Sense the sarcasm there?

Pretty much. I've been pretty crabby too. Monthly needs. As per usual, a girl's gotta be a bit mean you know.

Speaking of mean, at last my constant spamming of emails to my lecturer has got me my reward/fine ! HAHA

Irony's a bitch - Rusty Cartwright :)

Thanks Jacob Zachar :) You played Rusty perfectly! I miss Greek.

Okay! Sidetracking much and damn distracted! I am suppose to be reading my history reading on High Renaissance for tomorrow's presentation! -_____-

My life is so full of words and images.

LOL, wait everybody's life is like that! HAHAHA.

Ignore me. :) Sleepy time. Need to read History and get ready for tomorrow's long day!

p/s: Thank you David B for sharing your M&M's with me in the library :) It woke me up!

tabye

♥

A Little Too Early For Hibernation Isn't It?

Dear Mental,

Have you ever felt like you just wanna go away somewhere very far away and just not listen to anyone for a bit? I guess I have been feeling a little irritated by everyone lately! GOSH How mean of me huh? :( I just feel like I really need some alone time from everyone. All the stress of uni is finally getting into my head! My sister told me that my mum cried when I told her about how stress I was with the course :/ That just made me feel worse! :( I am so sorry everyone. I am sorry friends. I know I have been cutting contact with you guys. I basically have been hibernating in the library. I actually spent 5hrs straight in the library today! WOW. That's a new record for me. The most was 2-3hrs. But today was, wow. Even Lewis told me to chillax and go eat ! Oh well, need to get ready for bed and I need to clean up my messed up room before Kak Didi and her aunty comes tomorrow!

So, goodnight bloggers.

Keep in touch.

tabye

♥

Why Not Just Grant Me A Wish?

Hey you.

You kinda just make me feel like I wanna strangle you or maybe just myself for that matter.

I know you mean well, but sometimes I feel like all those efforts are just a waste of your time.

Surprisingly, you still bother about me even life is going pretty well according to plan for you.

Oh gosh, I just wish there was a sign that said, 'YOU DON'T NEED ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!'

Sometimes I just wonder, maybe my mum is right about this thing about me.

Maybe I am naive enough to even bother about you.

Nevertheless, I am the one who tries to learn to not judge people ever since high school.

Somehow, I had to learn it the hard way.

I hope, maybe you can stop all these charades and just come clean with whatever you're keeping from me.

Apologies if I am too young to understand whatever that you're trying to go through, but you yourself said that you trusted me.

I hope it's still there.

If not, I'm sorry for you.

Goodbye, may the next encounter will be a successful one.

tabye

♥

300th Post & Counting..

Dear Mental,

I am so sorry for not being able to update lately! However uni life has gotten way better ever since orientation started! Especially last week :)

Let's start with Sunday, 9 October 2011:

Nothing much happened! HAHA :) But yeah, basically I just slept in, been a bit under the weather because I fell sick the week before and also the fact that my parents went back to Malaysia.

Monday, 10 October 2011:

Well, I had tutorial in the afternoon, so pretty much it was a free day :D WHEE! Although, I had a meeting with Joshua and Nikhil for the group presentation for the ILSC class !

Tuesday, 11 October 2011:

Pin-up day for the Cathedral sketches! NERVE-WRACKING as per usual! HAHA. But yeah, during class we had to 'dissect' a bell pepper ! TEEHEE. ;) SO FUN! Somehow, Kyle has a very weird obsession with the bell pepper smell :P HAHAHA. Sitting with the boys were so fun! OHH and Billy was lucky enough to get his sketch chosen to be shown to everyone in class! (Y) Go Billy :D During lunch we ate at the benches outside Marconi and, me, Nadir & Kyle talked about Pixar animations! HAHA, especially How To Train Your Dragon & Wall-E! In the afternoon, me, Nadir, David and Bradley had our discussion about our presentation at the library! It was fun too! :) Talked about leftover spaghetti, holidays, A Levels, countries, names, French terms, baguettes, berets, croissants, foreign languages and chewing gum. NICE.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011:

WEDNESDAY! Presentation day! Freaking out like shizz. YEAH. So basically we did pretty well surprisingly! Well, the boys did awesome-ly! I almost PASSED OUT, like literally! :O OMG. HAHAHA. But Kyle and Joshua said I was fine! HAHA, thanks guys :') David took ages for his section though, HEHE. But he's AWESOME like that, go David :3 Bradley at last pass pronouncing his French terms ^_^ HEHE, so no baguettes to be thrown at that boy for awhile :P Nadir did his intro smoothly! WOOHOO. Not only that, because of me, CONCRETE has been a subject that made all of us CRAZY! -______- AHAHAHHAHA especially me! History took a whole interesting turn when me, Kyle, David, Bradley, Nadir, Ross, Shaun & Billy talked about Roman robes, concrete, cement, socks being worn with slippers/sandals and childhood memories. HAHA, we had tons of fun. Well, before lunch, me and David had our 'commotion' at the Resource Cafe! HAHA, because David didn't want to take the chicken wrap that he likes because I took it first .___. I FELT SO BAD! I literally FORCE him to take it! HAHAHA, but in the end he did! SO YAY, :) However he said that I am STUBBORN because I didn't want to take the wrap -_____- MEH, you'll pay David Morgan! BAHAHAHA. Oh not only that, my Viennese Whirls came only as one biscuit in the packet which should have 2 of them ! Zzzz. What a rip off! So I only paid it for 25p :P HEHE. YAY. Saved money! Tech & Design, was of course, on concrete -_____- HEHE. It was a densed lecture, too much CONCRETE! HAHAHA, so Billy fell asleep ! Then during tutorial, more concrete, HAHA. Everything was just a blur to me.

Thursday, 13 October 2011:

WOKE UP LATE. GAH. But had Archifunk meeting! Met up with Sam, the ex-pres and we talked about the committee members, so Dean is our new pres, Kyle is the treasurer and I am the secretary! HAHA, :D Awesome! So yeah. Pretty much I am quite excited to promote Archifunk, although people don't seem to be too keen on it -______- SIGHS. Kyle posted a picture of Betzy the concrete on my Wall! OMG, HAHAHAHHA. But she's kinda cute, surprisingly :P HEHE. Yeah.. She has hairy legs though -.- AWKWARD. HAHAHA. Transferable Skills was mind-numbing ! I couldn't wrap my head around the 7th sheet! GAH. Although I did get some help from David, he showed every step, but then I had to restart from scratch by myself all over again because he undo everything! HAHAHA, omg, the torture -___- HE SO MEAN. But he said he's nice, MEH. Okay la, nice :P HEHE. I HAVE A FEELING I AM THE LAST IN MY CLASS. GOSH I THINK I JUST DIED. -.- BOO! I HATE THIS.

Friday, 14 October 2011:

Well, nothing much happened today, just did laundry! AT LAST! I sadly have to redo my report -_______- URGH. DAMN ANNOYING. So yeah, I let Kat read my Reflective Journal and she liked it, so that was cool! :D (Y) SO FUN! AHAH. Pretty much, that's it :B

Saturday, 15 October 2011:

Woke up damn early at 7.30am to go to Central London to meet up with Cat and Jeff :) So, it was literally an adventure for me! The East Anglia National Express services were having some engineering problems! -.- WHOOPEE. So I had to take a train to Ingatestone and take a coach from there to Newbury Park! WALAO. Then I had to take the Central Line using the Tube to Stratford, from there, I took the Jubilee line to go to Canada Water, then I went to the Overground to go to Forest Hill to meet Kak Lin so that I can pick up Kak Nia's Amazon package. HAHA. Had a nice time at Kak Lin's! Although, I was 30mins late for lunch with Jeff and Cat because of all the damn congestions and the amounts of stops the bus had to go through before arriving in Leicester Square a.k.a Chinatown. It's funny how I got lost finding the Oriental Delight shop, but I didn't get lost from Chelmsford to London! HAHAHAHA. WOW. We ended up eating at this yummy Korean shop! YUM :3 I promised Nav that I'll meet Nav soon :) I FEEL SO BAD NOW! HAHA. Should pop on by to Surrey real soon! Before Winter comes :) After Chinatown, we went our separate ways :'( SIGHS. But I got the opportunity to see Jeff's accommodation in Russell Square :D DAMN BIG MAN his room -.- I SO ENVY HIM! HAHA. Met his friends too! WOOT. HEHE. Then, we went to Regent's Park, knowing how blur I was, I didn't know that it was a royal park -___- PFFT. So, it didn't occur to me that the Frieze Art Fair was a fancy schmancy event and it cost 20-27pounds -________- GOSH. I'll pass. But I took some pics, a bit bland though :( SIGHS. But the park was damn huge and pretty too! HAHA, me and Jeff faced an awkward moment when we opened my sister's Amazon package to find out that it contained a BABY MONITOR .__________. WHAT THE CRAP? AHAHHA. I knew it was for her friend, but I kinda forgot about it at first, hence the awkwardness since I opened it in a public park with my guy best friend -.- HAHAHA.

SO, that was my 4th week in uni summed up in one whole post in conjunction of my 300th post! WOOT, no worries, there will be more to come :D

P/s: I will be using this post for my reflective journal as well :D CAN'T WAIT!

tabye

♥